Sunday, September 19, 2010

One of the saddest posts I've seen

The following has got to be one of the saddest posts I've seen in a long time on Imamother.

Titled "Attention Litivish or Chassidish Mothers and FS" (FS being a poster)

My 12 year old Charedi daughter came in to me this evening and asked me if husbands and wives are allowed to hug and kiss. Turns out she was standing on our porch and speaking with her friend who lives 2 floors down. The apartment directly under us has a newly married couple living in it. Their blinds were completely open and dd watched for a few minutes while the couple made out on the couch. Obviously I'll never know just how much she saw but she was in total shock that this couple were "behaving like chilonim" and she was nauseous over the whole thing. Needless to say, my dd is very sheltered and could not imagine that anyone Charedi would do something so disgusting!

I am curious about how Charedi (Litvish or Chassidish) mothers would deal with this.
FS -What do you think?

I probably made the biggest mistake of my life and told her that husbands and wives can do that but that it's not tznius to have the windows open. She was not happy with that answer and of course, started to ask me about her father and myself I didn't give her a straight answer but I did let her know that it's normal and natural.
When DH found this out he was not a happy camper. He would rather have her think that the neighbors are pervs or something. Oy.

I'm not sure which is sadder... that the girl, at 12, still thinks intimacy in marriage is something only non-religious people do, that she has never seen her own parents even hug, that the mother thinks TELLING THE TRUTH might have been a mistake or that the father would rather his daughter think intimacy is perverted....

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