Today's Photos

Today's Photo

The almond trees are coming into full bloom. This is a shot of a herd of goats (and the goatherd to the left in the photo) in the valley below the house.

I think hubby and I will do a photo shoot of the almond trees in Shiloh on Friday...

Today's Photos

The poppies in our yard.

Today's Photo

I've decanted the vanilla extract I started 2 months ago into something more decorative... and tasty!

Today's Photo

The expected snow missed us. We had thick fog, wind and rain all day instead.

This was a part of the backyard - the grape vines in the fog. NO photo editing was done.

Today's Photo

Today's Photo

Today's Photo

The little known oil drum fields of Israel where farmers plant and grow oil drums for sale to the world market.

This one was sadly neglected and left to become over-ripe, you can tell by the coating of rust.

Ok, in all seriousness, farmers use the drums to prevent the wildlife from getting to the new olive tree saplings.

Today's Photo

Today's Photo

Despite being kicked upside the head with a raging sinus infection and fever, I give you:



Top to bottom: Jupiter, Venus and the moon at dawn.

Today's Photos

I ended up taking so many photos this morning of the snow, I decided to put those and the ones from yesterday into a photo slide show.

Enjoy!

Today's Photos

It's a snow day here in Israel. What else would I post?

Today's Photo

Today's Photo

Today's Photo

Water beaded on a box on my front lawn with shadows from the bay leaf bush.

Today's Photos

I caved.


This is Little Dipper.

This is why he's called little dipper:


And this is Tigger's initial reaction:

Yes, he really is that small... about the size of a medium sized bunny. He's 10 weeks old and.. yeah, I caved.

Today's Photo

Today's sunset, reflected in my daughter's window.

Today's Photo

At first I was going to crop it so the birds were the main focus and much clearer to see.

But after looking it over for a few minutes, I decided I liked things as they were - the cellphone tower in the background, the directionality of the trees and tattered flag from the wind, the pergola lattice and the rooftops.

Today's Photo

Pure vanilla extract is ridiculously expensive here (when you can find it) and the imitation stuff is just nasty.

So a liter of vodka, a few vanilla beans (split and scraped) and a few weeks in the cupboard (shaken once a week) and we'll have some home-made of the good stuff.

This is 2 1/2 weeks after I made it. The longer it sits the darker it gets. I'm thinking another 2 1/2 weeks until I can bake with it.

Today's Photo

Today's Photo

Halvah is a confection made mainly from Tehini (a very thin sesame paste) and honey with other ingredients and flavorings added for taste.

In this photo, left to right bottom row: dried fruit, cashews, almonds, walnuts and I'm not sure what's in the very right-hand corner, but it looks like more of the Turkish pistachios which are on the second row, right side. To the left of the Halvah with pistachios is coffee-flavored Halvah and in the background is fresh apricot 'fruit leather'.

Yesterday's Photo

Today's Photos

Before and after in honor of Shabbat

I've been remiss

Since no one comments I have no way of knowing if anyone is even looking at the photos.

Ah well.

So here's an almost entire week's worth of photos...

Starting with today:


Here is Wednesday's and I'm particularly proud of this shot:


Tuesday's shot was a macro:


Monday's photo will be in a separate post as I went to Kever Rachel.

Sunday's shot:


And Saturday's photo, which was taken after Shabbat. One of my artsy-fartsy shots.

Today's Photo

In my friend's gallery in Jerusalem which has a few windows overlooking a courtyard with an amphitheater and various craftsmen's shops.

Today's Photo

Another trip to the Shuk today.

Foreground to background: Melons, Kumquats, 'baby' lemons, pears (r), cauliflower (l), clementines

Today's Photo

Not quite sure what kind of beetle this is. It was too large to be a ladybug (and it's missing its spots) and the carapace was harder.

Spice is Nice

Went to the Shuk again today. Here's a photo of my spice merchant.

The left side is their wall of prepackaged spices and mixes. In front are dried hot peppers and various herbs, sold loose. On the table are all their various mixes - for soups, rice, potatoes. They even have a granola mix now.

Oh, and those two large pyramids? Hot and sweet paprika with oil.

Today's Photo

The cats were sitting on and around the dumpster as usual.

Sunrise Triptych

What we do

Originally posted March 19, 2001

It seems lately all my entries have been on the ride in to or from work...

There are still daily attacks, today there was a shooting and road closure in the 'Gush' area, one of the favored hotspots southwest of Jerusalem.

Over the weekend, Arabs tampered with electric lines and the settlement (and 2 others in our area) were without power for 4 hours.

I'm surprised no one has asked how the terrorists can tell the difference between an 'Israeli' car and a 'Palestinian' car.

Of course, some of you might have this biblical view of Israel, figuring most people live in tent cities and the camels outnumber the people. We all make our living harvesting the olive groves or date palms or by herding sheep and goat, sitting on a rocky hillside dressed in a voluminous robe and headcovering.

I have to say, back in '86 that was exactly what I expected to see on my first trip here to Israel. After all, most of what I had learned about Israel was in Bible study.

Anyway, back to the cars.

Israeli civilian cars (and those belonging to Arabs living in "Israel proper"), have yellow plates with black numbers. In one corner is a blue rectangle with a white Star of David and under the star, it says IL.

Israeli military cars have black plates with white numbers and a "tzadick", which is the first letter in the Hebrew acronym for the IDF, and government and police cars have red plates with white numbers, and a 'mem', the first letter in the Hebrew word for government.

Palestinian civilian cars have either green plates with white numbers, Arabic script in one corner over a P, or white plates with green numbers, Arabic script in one corner over a P.

Their police cars (since theoretically they aren't allowed have a military) have white plates with red numbers.

Well, this is all well and good during the daylight when sharp-eyed snipers, aided with binoculars can see some sort of identifying mark, but what happens when it's night, or before sunrise...

There are different signs Arab cars drive with. The latest is driving with both parking lights flashing. Two months ago it was driving with one directional blinking.

A mechanic friend of mine told me that during the last Intifada, the Arabs would drive with one headlight off. He said he got a lot of settlers coming to him to install a switch so they can disable one light, and turn it back on when they got in to the city so they wouldn't be ticketed.

There have been stories in the last few months about settlers driving with red and white kafiyahs wrapped around their head, others who drive with NO lights on, and there was a tragic story a few weeks ago of a father and his 8 year old child being killed when their car went careening in to the side of a hill. The bereaved mother/wife said her husband would speed because he was afraid of being hit with stones or bullets by Arabs.

Another friend of mine, who owns a mini-van, taped on large white masking tape to the front, back and sides of her car TV, so people on the road would think she was a journalist. I jokingly suggested that she get either the basin of a white plastic birdbath or use the cover to a white garbage pail and attach it somehow to the roof of her car so it would look like a dish. She thanked me with total sincerity and me what a good idea it was.

Yesterday's ride was with the guy who drives with his M16 out the window. This time, he also has on the dashboard a red crescent, facing out. I guess he hopes people would think he was an Arab taxi or something. The effect was ruined however with the fact that on the other side of the dashboard, was a sign (facing out) with the Israel Tourism Ministry, showing that the vehicle can be used for certified tours.

That's not to say an Arab wouldn't have that too...but...

Driving through the Hot Zone

Originally posted March 7, 2001

Things have been escalating here.

No longer content in setting bombs in 'just' Jerusalem, the terrorists have moved to other cities. Tel Aviv, Afula, Hadera, Netanya.

If any good can come of this, perhaps it is that the leftists in these cities are finally beginning to realize that if it can happen in Jerusalem, it can happen anywhere.

It isn't a matter of disputed land or sovereignty.

The Arabs want it all. At all costs.

Which is what many of us have been saying all these years.

Good morning.

Last night the two roads to the settlement were closed. Arabs were shooting on one road and throwing stones on the other. I heard the gunshots...and blocked it out when it wasn't followed by the wail of an ambulance siren.

God help me...I'm becoming inured to it...I shake my head and sigh and hope for SOMETHING.

This morning I took a ride with someone to Jerusalem. He drove with his M16 in one hand, across his chest with the barrel out the open window. The guy sitting next to me had the stock of his Uzi unfolded, finger on the safety and the barrel of his gun out his open window.

I wanted a tank.

I wanted to cry.

I want this to be over.

Comments On

Originally posted January 25, 2001

I've written before about the belief religious Jews have about 'the hand of God', and how many believe that bad things happen by His grace.
I believe it too.
When Moses went to Pharoh on behalf of the Hebrews, God hardened Pharoh's heart against Moses' pleas and didn't allow the Hebrews out of slavery. It was only after the 10 Plagues were visited upon Egypt that Pharoh told them to go (and even after, changed his mind and went after them).
The hand of God was never more apparent then at Camp David over the summer, when Barak was ready to hand over 92% of the West Bank. Arafat refused because east Jerusalem wasn't included. Talks broke down and about a month and half later, the Al-Asqa Intifada was started.
A friend of mine said that whenever things between Israelis (secular vs religious, religious vs ultra-religious, etc.) gets bad, God sends an Intifada, so we have to band together and fight against the Arabs.
Two months in to this Intifada, we finally have leftists saying that upon reflection, they were wrong. On CNN, we have someone from Peace Now (a stout supporter of the Palestinians) say that the Arabs were the sole cause of the latest spate of violence.
Another two months have gone by and now it seems the Arabs are targeting Israelis who would call them friends.
This friendship, this complacency, is what are now getting Israelis killed.
In a radio report on the latest double murders, a friend of the victims was quoted saying that the "Arabs are our friends".
She's still saying this after these Arab friends murder her Israeli friends.
Umm..yeah.
WAKE UP!!!!
How many more leftists are going to be lured to their death by their so-called friends before they realize that THE ARABS ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS.
Perhaps one can say that this is the hand of God at work after all. With more lefties being killed, OTHER leftists may start rethinking their utopian ideals.
Ideals. Yes, now someone I'm sure is bound to leave me a love letter saying that I live in YESHA because of MY ideals, what's wrong with the leftists trying for kumbayah-oneness with the Arabs.
The difference is I recognize Arabs for the enemy that they are and take precautions to stay alive.
The lefties, with their blinders on, are well, blind tothe fact that the hand being extended to them by the Arab is holding a loaded gun.

A Prayer

Originally posted December 31, 2000

Prayer of the Jewish Soldier

Lord of the Universe
We, the soldiers of the people of Israel
Come to You in humility
And pray for your help


Once more, we are asked to defend our
People and
The Holy Land against our enemies

We ask You to have mercy on us and
Help us watch over our people
With clean hands
And with a heart filled with mercy

Let our people have the strength to
Stay in good spirits
And live in unity and
Walk in Your ways
The ways of Justice and Truth

Let us not make mistakes
And hurt those who are not guilty
Who do not understand
And have no part in this conflict

Please,
Let our bullets not hurt those children of our enemies
Whose parents place them deliberately in dangerous spots,
Fire on us
And then shield themselves
Behind their own offspring against
Our forces so as to fault us when their children
Get hurt or even killed

Remove the evil spirit of these parents
And make them realize the wickedness of their actions
Stop their teachers from manipulating their students
With hate for us in their schoolbooks
On the radio, television and
Internet

O God,
You know what one of our Prime Ministers once said:
"We may forgive our enemies one day
For hurting and killing our children
But
We cannot forgive them for having made our children
Into those who needed to kill"
We beg You, do not let our Jewish souls have to undergo
This ordeal which we cannot bear

We are the children of Avraham, your servant, who
Prayed for the evil people of Sedom with the hope that
They should repent and live a decent life

So, we beg you
Make our enemies repent
Force them to understand that
We are good people
Who wish to live in peace with
All our neighbors

O Lord,
Remove from their thoughts atrocities such as those
In which they dip their hands
In our blood
As Jews, we
Cannot fathom
Doing this even against our worst enemies

You commanded us to live in a country which
Is little more
Than a tiny island
Our population is smaller than that of
Many single cities

You asked us to live there so as to send
Your holy Word to all the corners of the world
But
We are surrounded by many nations who
Embody more than a hundred million people
They inhabit one of the largest regions of the world
But deny us the right to live in even the smallest corner of the world
They do not want to listen
And only wish our death

Give the Arab nations
Leaders
Who are men of justice and who really
Care for their people
And do not wish to bring their own brothers to despair
And unbearable pain
With the intention
To accuse us
Of grave injustice

Now,
After thousands of years of our dwelling
On this globe and after many exiles, tortures, pogroms,
Expulsions and Holocausts
We finally found our way back to our
Small homeland
Which You promised to our forefathers

But once more our dreams of peace
Have gone up in smoke
While we were trying, at the risk of our own lives,
To find a way to
Allow our Palestinian neighbors to
Live their own lives
While we were prepared to make sacrifices
For the welfare of these people
As no other people ever did
While we offered them land, peace, finances
And even firearms so as to defend themselves
We once more pay the price for being a people
Who believe in the honesty of another nation and its leaders
And once more we feel misled


Oh Lord, remove the evil intentions of the
Security Council which distorts the truth
Remove the deliberate lies
From the hearts of those who head the
Media

Why do they want to portray us
As an evil people?
They do so
To deny Your existence and Your moral
Demands
They hide behind their own wickedness
And cover up theirs and their fathers'
Immoral acts which they brought on us
And our forefathers for thousands
Of years

O, God You know
That
No army in world history has used so much restraint
As ours.
No army is so careful not to hurt or kill
As ours
But what shall we do when they are not even prepared
To give us the option
To prove this to the world?

Please God,
Bring peace into the hearts and minds
Of our enemies
Let them be uplifted with a spirit of righteousness
Stop them from hating us because we are Your people
Let us sanctify Your name as this is our
Mission and our dream
Give us the possibility once more to teach
Your ways to the peoples
Of the world
And make them hear and
Understand

We hate war as nobody else does,
We abhor the need to wear weapons
We cannot stand the sound of our own artillery
And our tanks

We are the people of the Book
The Book which demands holiness,
Kindness
And integrity
Our heroes are not the generals or the marshals
But our prophets and our sages
Men of righteousness

So, deliver us from this anguish
Bring peace to the nations
Let us not be forced to use our strength against them
For they will have no escape
But
Let the blessing which you gave to Avraham come true,
"And through you all the families of the earth will be blessed"
For this is our hope

Nathan Lopes Cardozo
http://www.cardozoschool.org/thoughts63.htm

The usual suspects

Originally posted December 19, 2000

I realized I'd been in Israel too long while on a recent trip back to NY.

I'm standing at the back of the city bus by the door as the bus pulls into my stop. And I stand there like an idiot for a few seconds.

I'm about to call out "Nahag!" (Hebrew for 'driver'), to get his attention so he'll open the door for me when I remember that in NYC, you have to work to get off the bus. You have to press the yellow tape to open the door. In Israel the bus driver operates all the doors.

I finally managed to find my way off the bus laughing.

Another thing that made me realize I'd been here too long was my surprise upon entering a mall in NY and not being stopped by a guard so he can fondle my bag, swish the contents around with a ruler or pen and otherwise pass this Star-Trekkie type device over the bag looking for a bomb.

This morning, we were met with yet another facet of Israeli life...the "suspicious package".

8 times out of 10, someone running after a bus or trying to catch a ride will forget the day's shopping or laundry and since no one is stupid enough to go through it (because times 9 and 10 are bombs) the Army Bomb Squad is called in.

Traffic, both vehicular and pedestrian, is stopped in all directions. Now once the bomb squad arrives, it should take no more than 15 minutes to clear the package. You've got the guy in head-to-toe flak jacket controlling the little robot with video camera...

It usually takes longer than 15 minutes because the bomb squad guy usually has to stop because there's some oblivious moron walking through the cleared area...Either he's lost in his own world and doesn't notice the dozens of people milling about and the stopped traffic, or she thinks she's invincible and won't get blown up.

Personally, I think those people should be given a ticket for hundreds of shekels....

Anyway..this morning we passed French Hill just before they closed the streets. I think someone for got their laundry at the hitch-hiking station.

Sunrise Observations

Originally posted December 17, 2000

5:45 a.m. and I'm at the bus stop at the settlement's entrance. At the gate and guardhouse 6 a.m. means duty change.

The Sun hasn't risen and I wish I hadn't either. The guards seem a bit punchy at this point and they've got the radio playing. Since there's no other sound anywhere close by, whispers seem noisey. The guards are singing loudly and terribly off key and every time one of their voices' crack I look up from the book I'm reading by lamplight and chuckle.

At 5:55 a.m. a pair of soldiers come walking down from their barracks, helmets swinging in hand, M-16 slung across their back and wearing a flak jacket. When they reach the guardhouse, the night boys step out, unload their own machine guns and aim their weapons to the lightening sky. Instead of singing I hear the click-click-click of someone pulling the trigger of an unloaded weapon.

The two weary boys trudge uphill and pass me on the way to their beds. I wish I were in my own bed.

Eventually someone stops and I get in, and I'm on my way to Jerusalem. We drive down the hill where the settlement tops.

Did you know that when a tire burns, the remains look like black licorice ropes? They leave a stain on the asphalt.

A few days before, IDF soldiers bulldozed an olive grove that Arabs were sniping from. The trees lay broken and dying on the edges. I felt sorry for the trees. Not for the Arabs' loss of income.

A lot of Arab houses are enclosed with a high wall and gate. Today, one of those houses had it's wall and gate torn down. It sits right on the road and they were probably sniping from there since they didn't have tree-cover anymore.

Good.

Hey Neener Neener

Originally posted December 4, 2000

Ok, I'll be the first to admit, it's childish and petty. And the fact that I get pleasure from it just shows me to be the perverted sadist I really am.

And that I'll admit to all this and put it out in a public forum, I shudder to think what a therapist might say.

But I don't care.

Driving past the checkpoints...long lines of cars with green and white or white and green license plates, stopped by soldiers, waiting their turns to give ID and move on. Only to have to repeat the process 50 kilometers down the road...and on the trip home.

Whilst I, or rather whatever yellow and black license-plated vehicle I'm in, passes these lines and goes merrily on my way...ok, not exactly merrily, since the driver has his gun in his lap and we're all on the lookout for rock-throwers....

Today's Photo

Most folks have lawn gnomes. My neighbor has an upended commode on her front lawn filled with charcoal.

Real-time update

I pretty much started this blog so I could leave comments in other blogs. SO as you can see, I don't update all that often.

Maybe I should.

When last we left our intrepid settler, she was 1 week into a very nerve-wracking 2 week wait after a third IUI procedure.

Well, I am happy to say it was indeed a success and a week before Shavuot, I gave birth to a healthy boy via c-section.

It's been a wild 7 months.

I will endeavor to start posting regularly here again.

Morning

Originally written November 23, 2000

About a month ago, when they lynched the two soldiers in Ramallah and the IDF went in and shelled the Ramallah police station, my kids heard the shelling.

Later that night, I heard the IDF shelling Nablus (Shechem). The experience literally left me shaking. I'm about 15 minutes from Nablus, and actually 15 minutes from Ramallah.

Since then, I've heard shelling a few more times, most recently last night. I'm assuming it was in retaliation for the bus bomb in Hadera and the bus bomb in Kfar Dorom that left devastation, death and maimed small kids on their way to school.

The shelling has ceased to leave me shaking any more. Instead I look out my window (can't see anything) and wonder why they just don't pulverize the damn city into dust.

This morning, I got a ride to work at 5:45 a.m. THe sun was just starting to rise, coloring the sky and tinting the clouds a neon pink and purple. THe vally was full of mist. It was quite beautiful. Of course I'm wondering what the mist is hiding. Or rather..WHO it conceals.The roads at this time are still quiet, but we still travel no slower that 100 kph.

We topped a rise and zipped around a bend and slowed. Ahead of us on the road, near Ramallah, was an IDF jeep, tank and half-track. But it was still scenic. Because of the sunrise and their positions, the first sight of them is in stark black silhoutte.

I've discovered I've expanded my vocabulary nicely: flak jacket, half-track, Apache and Chinook heliocopters, armored personel carriers...

Heading Home

Originally written November 21, 2000

I've decided to take the bus home from now on. It's just safer.

Yes, we make a bigger target, but the windows are double-layer thick plexiglass and the sides are steel plated.

I was so tired yesterday, I pretty much fell asleep as soon as I got on the bus. I don't remember leaving Jerusalem.

BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM...that woke me up...

We had gotten stuck behind a slow moving flatbed truck, hauling rebars uphill. Sitting ducks. We couldn't get around the truck since we weren't going much faster.

It started raining stones.

No one was injured. The bus has a few more dents in the side than it did at the start of our journey.

I said the Traveler's Prayer and we thanked God it was 'just' stones.

Running the Gauntlet

Originally written November 16, 2000

People have developed methods of getting to and from the city with the increase of attacks on the roads, it's a usual topic of conversation...You know instead of "How was work, dear?" it's "Thank God you're home. How was the drive?"

I leave the settlement at around 6 a.m. and generally all the terrorists are abed after staying up late at night harassing, injuring and killing Israeli motorists and soldiers.

The roads are usually swept clear of the previous day's rock throwing. Yet as soon as we leave the settlement and hit the main road, someone says a heartfelt "Traveler's Prayer".

"May it be Your will, Eternal One, Beloved of our ancestors, to lead us in peace and direct our steps in peace; to guide us in peace, to support us in peace and to bring us to our destination in life, joy and peace. Deliver us from the hands of every enemy and lurking foe, and robbers and wild beasts on the journey, and from all kinds of calamities that may come to and afflict the world; and bestow blessing upon all our actions. Grant me grace, kindness and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of all who behold us, and bestow bountiful kindness upon us. Hear the voice of my prayer, for You hear everyone’s prayer. Blessed are You Lord, who hears prayer. "

Eyes scan the side of the road. You sit tensely as you drive through the ravines, places where the hills were parted like the Dead Sea to allow a path. These are danger spots because the Arabs just have to throw a rock down and it could hit you.

But like I said, at 6 a.m. it's usually quiet.

But then there's the return trip. At 4:30...5...7 p.m.

As soon as we pass the checkpoint, you're looking, waiting, watching, tense. Anyone with a gun, locks and loads, finger on safety and gun in lap.

The roads are littered with stones and rocks. When we come up to points in the road like this, the driver usually tenses his/her hands around the steering wheel. And everyone else's eyes scan the side of the road. If he's able, the driver will drive in the middle of the road. This way, the thrower has to throw out as well as down. Some people even go as far as to drive "serpentine", zig-zagging across as they drive. Of course you don't want to make a predictable pattern..so they zig...zag..zag...zig...zig...zig...zag... zag...

We travel at 120 kph in a 90 kph zone. Very little of the road is straight. Since the shooting has gotten worse, they've also set up road blocks in various locations near Arab towns that have been harassing drivers more than others.

When your car IS hit by a rock, you floor it. Don't bother staying to do anything. When they get a hit, they scatter for 15 minutes, scuttling back like rats to their holes. You call the Regional Council hotline and tell them you've been hit and give an approximate location. Generally, withing 10 minutes of the call, an Army jeep will come by and patrol the area.

People have developed different ways of driving. What they think is best. Some say drive slowly. Personally, I think that's stupid.Slow makes for an easier target. Their feeling is that if you're a fast projectile and the stone is a fast projectile and they meet, it's much worse. My feeling is a fast projectile makes for a target harder to actually hit. My South African neighbor agrees. He says he learned from the conflicts HE lived with in SA that faster is better. If you're going to go in a caravan, make sure everyone agrees to drive at the same fast speed and anyone who doesn't want to will get left behind.

This friend doesn't take the company car anymore. Not because the company won't let him, but he feels it's safer to take the bullet-proof bus to and from work. I agree. When I can I take the bus home. And I certainly don't stand on the main road any more waiting for someone to come by and give me a lift.

When you finally reach your destination, be it home or work, you sit back and relax. You don't realize how tense you can get. And it's exhausting. So you have dinner and sleep or go about your work and..do it all again.

zig....zag...zag..zig...zig...zag...

Another Hat I Wear

In addition to the settler hat and the SCA hat I wear, I also unfortunately wear the hat of the infertile woman.

Some days I deal with it better than others. Some days I can barely cope.

My official diagnosis is PCOS - polycystic ovary syndrome. Because it's a syndrome, it tends to be a series of symptoms which lead to problems of some sort of the ovaries. Each woman is different. Severity differs as well. For me it means that without the help of Metformin(glucophage) I don't get my period. And without the help of hormone therapy, I don't ovulate. Sometimes, if the hormone dosage is too low, I end up with a cyst in my follicle, rather than an egg. So far, thank God, I haven't actually had any burst. The cysts are painful enough. A rupture could mean a trip to the ER.

I have been going for treatments now for 13 months, with a 3 month break from April to July. I've just had my third IUI, and although I'm one week into the 2WW (2 week wait), I think it might have been another failure. The clinic said that the insurance generally requires 4 or 5 IUIs before moving on to IVF.

It's amazing how consuming having a baby can become when it doesn't come naturally. On average, I spend up to 2.5 weeks of every cycle schlepping into Jerusalem twice a week for blood tests and ultrasounds. Every day is at least one injection (I self-inject into my stomach) and by the end of the 2.5 weeks, I'm black and blue. There's the scheduled sex. And now that we're doing IUI, there's the 'collection', which has to be done within the guidlines of Halacha. And the 2WW.

I honestly don't see how couples can do this for years on end... each month gets more and more discouraging...

The Stages

Originally posted Novemeber 14, 2000

It's gone from occassional rock throwing to daily road closures.

It's gone from throwing rocks at passing cars to sniping at them with automatic weapons.

It's gone from sniping at cars with automatic weapons to standing at the side of the road and firing on passing cars and busses.

It's gone from standing at the side of the road and firing at passing cars and busses to drving alongside a car or bus and opening fire.

It's gone from having your car hit by rocks to having your car hit by bullets.

My neighbor is in the hospital, a victim of Arab terror with 5 bullets removed from his belly.

And this morning I had to tell my children that they wouldn't have gym today because yesterday, along with an 18 and a 19 year old soldier, their gym teacher, a 42 year old mother of 5, were shot and killed in a drive-by.

But somehow, it's all still Israel's fault.

It's weird. They say that most of the victims (and I use this term loosely) have been Palestinians. Mostly between the ages of 16-21 and generally termed "young Palestinan". Of course they'd be the majority. They're rioting. When you see a tank roll up your street and a voice demanding you disperse and go home, there's no heroism in throwing a rock at it.

But the Israeli victims...the majority who are between the ages of 18-25...they aren't classified as "young Israelis". Why not? Because most of them are soldiers. It seems one loses one's humanity in the media when one is a dead soldier.

Four Alarm Cease-fire

Originally posted November 2, 2000

I left work at 2:45 p.m. I had errands to run and wanted to start heading home as early as possible.

I reached the shopping center and people are clustered around radios, all turned to the news station. I go outside to go to the bank and people are sitting in parked cars, doors open, listening to the radio.

One of two things goes through my head. Either Israel has offically declared war, or something in the fighting has escalated. The notion of peace never even occurs to me.

I hear the news. Two explosions at the shuk in Jerusalem. Oh God, terrorist bombs. Not again.

The first emotion is a kind of selfish relief that I wasn't there. And then an icy wave of worry and fear comes over me and settles in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't there true, but was someone I know there???

Since I wasn't home, I couldn't make any phonecalls, I finish what I need to do and manage to hitchhike home. The road is littered with rocks and stones. They had closed the road for two hours earlier because of shooting and stone-throwing. They reopened it half an hour before the bombs went off.

I get home and there's a message from my father DEMANDING I call my mother where she works. They had heard the news of course.

I then called my aunt. Whatever problems notwithstanding, she IS family. there are certain times when personal headbutting has to be put aside and we have to come together because like it or not, we're all we have here.

We talk, it's nice. We catch up on family news. As we hang up, she says keep in touch. I'd like that. I really would.

But I'm still angry.At all the crap that's going on. It's my feeling that Israel will declare war, or at least really start kicking ass after the elections in the States next week.

None of my family members were at the shuk. I doubt any friends were there either. It's not a pleasant feeling having to make a mental accounting of people you know when you hear news like this.

Pallywood

Because it didn't start with Reuters, AP and Hizballah 4 weeks ago...

Last One! I Promise... for today...

Where's Waldo?

Another one

Where's the death and destruction? Damn, my agent sent me to the wrong shoot!

Gee Ma, I wanna work for Reuters!

Apparently GHG has had a long career of photo ops during wars...

And the reason he wasn't included in the memorial was because of course... a Zionist plot.

Yeah I know, fooling around on Photoshop when I SHOULD be cooking for Shabbat...

Although this whole thing does lead to an interesting question...

How long will it be before photographs from a digital camera will be inadmissable in court, and PIs and CSIs will have to revert to old fashioned film cameras and submit the negatives as proof that the images weren't altered?

Tripping themselves up

With the whole Reuters photo scandal, and now another, similar scandal from the New York Times, many people, from paid journalists and politicians to the average Joe Blogger are writing opinions and tracking the photos.

Thanks to so many in the public, editors are having to account for themselves and retract the photos.

I wonder though, have there been any public apologies? The same columnspace that was used to paint Israel as a cold-blooded, indiscriminate killer now used to apologize to Israel and the IDF?

Jules Crittenden has an interesting piece about this whole photo scandal. He places the blame basically on the photographers, and calls the various editors 'Rubes'... unsuspecting suckers.

The problem is, I don't believe that's entirely the issue. It's an editor's job to confirm authenticity, but it seems that in the media haste to vilify Israel, they just don't care all that much. Israel, for whatever reason is, and always has been, the bad guy of the Middle East.

Why are these editors failing time and again to verify the photos when rank amateurs are spotting the fakes left and right? And why aren't they being held accountable?

Two Mornings

Originally posted October 25, 2000

First Morning

Yesterday while being driven in to work, I saw a rainbow.

We had just gotten into the outskirts of Jerusalem and we saw a bit of it. Clouds passed on front of it, making it look like something out of a movie or painting. It didn't look real.

The rainbow followed us as we drove further into the city and then..the clouds moved just so, we arrived at *the* spot and I saw the rainbow...end to end. From one part of Jerusalem to the other. Breathtaking.

God sent the first rainbow to Noah after the flood as a sign of good faith that He would never totally destroy the Earth again. In Judaism, seeing a rainbow is generally coinsidered to be a sign of ill-omen. That God REALLY REALLY wants to destroy the Earth again, but because of His covenant with Noah, He won't. As if we needed another reminder, what with all that's going on here lately.

Second Morning

Winter has come with a vengeance. No easing from Summer heat to cold, wet and windy with a few weeks of what passes here for Autumn.

And so the rain falls...right into my house it seems. The roofs here are red tiles and mine is missing one. And so, it's been raining in my house. And leaking into my bathrooms (my toilet and tub are in seperate rooms). I called the settlement office today. We'll see...

Since getting most of the jungle that was my yard cleared away last month, the ensuing water from the heavens have turned my jungle...into a swamp.

And I no longer have a dog. I have a LARGE mudhen. So she's going to have to stay indoors while I'm gone instead of having the run of the yard on her chain. Which means walking her...

It's 5 a.m., I'm dressed and we're out walking. She's sniffing at everything, but of course the rain has washed away all scents. I'm beggin' her to take a pee. We make a circle of the block and as she's sniffing the hell out of some weeds, my attention is caught by a flash of lightning. No thunder though.

I look up and it feels like I'm straddling three worlds at once.

To the northwest, it's black, the distant lights of Tel Aviv sparkle orange. The sky is different gradations of black and every so often, lightning lights up the distance.

I turn slightly and face south. Less lights. The sky, a clear black, the stars, god, the stars like scattered diamonds on black velvet. The moon...Luna's cheshire cat-like grin of a crescent. The sky is so crisp, you can see the entire white outline of the moon and Luna's 'face' a darker black against the darkness of Earth's shadow.

And finally, face east. The sky there not so black, getting lighter by the minute. Soon it will be tinged pink and the greys, blues, oranges and reds announce that at least for a brief time,the sun WILL shine today.

Werewolf feelings

Originally posted October 17, 2000

I'm not really a werewolf, but I play one online. And boy, there are times in life I'd SO like to be able to...

I caught a schoolbus back to the settlement today from Jerusalem. It was full of kids and their parents, apparently the settlement had planned some sort of trip and just as I got to the the hitchhiking station, the bus pulled up. It was packed, but I got on and went to the back of the bus and sat on the top step of the rear stairs. The door was covered with a carpet-covered steel plate. How reassuring.

The door was just in front of the very last seat and sitting there were two VERY annoying boys. I'd guess their ages to be 8 and 10. They kicked me, they threw things and when I told them to stop, they said they were aiming for the garbage pail just in front of me. I could see one had his shoelasce untied and I wanted to knot his shoe to the metal rail. But I wanted to do it secretly and he was moving around too much. I asked them to stop countless times. I gave them LOOKS and nothing worked. But hey, the ride was free.

Then one of them asked me if I was a student at the all-girls school on the settlement. I said no, I was Daughter1 and Daughter2's mother. Well...that changed everything. Once we got my bona fides straightened out, they gave me respect. Now they knew I was a Parent and not just some Older Sibling-type. The abuse stopped. Of course this was half an hour into the ride and we only had about 15 more minutes left.

But for that half hour...I so wanted to get into their face and growl just low enough for them to hear and shift my facial features enough so they would KNOW what I was but no one else would see. And for the rest of the trip, they'd sit like good little boys because they were too scared of me to move and they were too embarrassed because they'd wet their pants.

I am a Werewolf, boys and I know ways to make you HOWL.

And then...something happens...that makes being kicked at for 30 minutes seem so damn trivial.

We were 15 minutes away from home when there's this loud bang. The bus had been hit by a stone. We saw the Arabs running for cover, since they never know for sure when someone is armed on a schoolbus and will open fire on them. No one was hurt. And when I looked at the side of the bus, there were too many possible dents already there to figure out exactly which spot was hit.

The kids on the bus for the most part were...incredibly blasZ about it, one of my two tormentors even exclaimed "We've been hit? Yeah! Cool!" Some of the parents said that once we got back to the settlement they should get a group together and head to the road and throw stones at Arab cars.

Of course, last week some settlers did that, an Arab driver was hit, lost control of his car and ran into and killed one of the settlers (that was a Darwin Award winner, btw). At least one settler was arrested and the driver, last I heard was in critcal condition at a hospital because the car struck a barrier and flipped.

Anyway, after getting hit, the glee was taken out of wanting to terrorize a couple of little boys. Dammit.

It must be nice in Olmertland...

Article from Arutz7 in English. In a move that sparked anger and sharp criticism, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert on Wednesday announced his intentions to advance his realignment plan.

The plan in essence is another disengagement, the planned destruction of most of the remaining Jewish communities located throughout Judea and Samaria.

In an interview with the Associated Press, speaking in English, Prime Minister Olmert explained he plans to move ahead with his plan; a plan that he insists will create stability in the region by defining new borders. Such a move he explained will be testimony to the defeat of terrorism, and create the atmosphere required to permit Israel to disengage from the Palestinian Authority (PA).

Oh yeah... because Gaza has worked SO well thus far.

Olmert insisted that the war with Hizbullah has nothing to do with his plan, stating his planned ‘realignment’ must move forward as he promised it would prior to being elected.

The plan calls for dismantling most of the communities throughout Judea and Samaria, to be replaced by a number of settlement blocs.

Read: ghettos... of Jews.... in Israel.

Olmert admits “it will not be easy,” adding he was elected as prime minister to act, not to sit idle. He added the implementation of the plan is also essential “towards assisting the Palestinians to achieve their aspirations for a state” living side-by-side with Israel.

Among the critics of Olmert’s plan is MK Dr. Yossi Beilin, who heads the left-wing Meretz-Yahad opposition party. Beilin stated there can be no additional unilateral Israeli policies, only withdrawals resulting from negotiations and agreements. His remarks were echoed by Arab MK Mohammad Barakeh.

So let me get this right... because Olmert is doing this without a million meetings and treaties, the left AND the Arabs are pissed. And Olmert expects it to WORK????

Likud MK Gidon Sa’ar stated that the so-called realignment plan would bring the rockets to the entire country, and not the just the north and south as is the case today.

YA THINK? It amazes me how so many people in the country have no idea that the Green Line is only minutes away from so many of them. They live in the incorrect safe assumption that The West Bank is far removed from them when in fact, if it weren't for the settlements acting as a buffer zone, the Arabs would be screaming for Tel Aviv, Netanya and the other cities.

MK (Labor) Dr. Ephraim Sneh, a former deputy defense minister, stated that it is obvious from the prime minister’s remarks that he has learned nothing from the unilateral withdrawals from Gaza and southern Lebanon.

Well that's because it's so nice in Olmertland....

The prime minister currently enjoys widespread support for his ongoing effort to destroy Hizbullah. Some critics are accusing the prime minister of taking advantage of his popularity to advance his political agenda, explaining he has made an error since he is splitting the nation at this critical time.

No... REALLY?

MK Effie Eitam (Religious Zionist Renewal Party, Hit’chabrut), a retired IDF brigadier-general and former commander of forces in southern Lebanon, has been advising the prime minister and Defense Minister Amir Peretz frequently since the war broke out over three weeks ago. Eitam was quick to comment on Olmert’s AP interview at this time, stating he made a tactical error, splitting the nation at this critical time. Quoted by ynet, Eitam stated that the prime minister understood he made a mistake that harmed national unity.

More like... "well, the cat's out of the bag... how can we spin this? Oh yeah, get a RELIGIOUS guy as our spokesman on this!"

Eitam told the media that following the prime minister’s interview, he was contacted by many rabbis, deans of IDF preparatory yeshiva programs, all expressing concerns regarding the timing of the prime minister’s remarks as the nation is in a state of war.

Concern?? There should be outrage and demonstrations regarding this.

Realizing Eitam was the unofficial liaison to the Orthodox community that supports Olmert during the ongoing Hizbullah war, the Prime Minister’s Office was quick contact him, seeking to implement damage control. Aides to the prime minister quickly issued a clarification, stating the realignment was not intended to have been the main focus of the AP interview.

Asking Eitam to convey a message to the Torah-observant public, the prime minister announced that at present, he is only dealing with efforts to halt rocket attacks, nothing else.

coughbullshitcough He got caught with a good dose of verbal diarrhea.

The prime minister’s interview broke the current momentum, with rabbis and other right-wing community leaders calling to reevaluate the war in the north, explaining it is unconscionable that soldiers living in Judea and Samaria fight for the country and then be evicted from their homes by the same army.

Funny... little mention was made of soldiers having to evict their own families from Gush Katif....

Eitam was called upon by Olmert to act as a go-between, seeking to allay fears and repair the damage resulting from his interview.

Eitam told the media that following a conversation with the prime minister, it is clear to him that the realignment/expulsion would not be dealt with at present. Eitam admits that the plan will be problematic at some time in the future, after the war, but for now, the nation must remain united behind the government while efforts continue to eliminate the Hizbullah threat.

Ah, he's donned the rosey glasses and whored himself out for politics at the expense of Halacha (Jewish Law).

On the one hand.. and on the other...

I can't read the news without tripping over articles about people flying in from all over the world to volunteer somewhere up north. There is a daily blurb in the Jerusalem Post of contact info from people willing to put up evacuees.

Money. Supplies. Support.

All for the poor people in the north of Israel who suddenly find themselves on the front line.

Well, not so suddenly... HOW long did the first war with Lebanon last? The relative quiet on the border is only six year old, so people who moved there, who have been living there for years, should have had a clue that perhaps they would, at one time or another be shelled.

Where was all the support for the Gush Katif refugees? Where is the money for the familes, who a year later are still out of work and are still paying mortgages on houses that don't exist any more??

What's changed in the past year that people are so willing to rush to the north, open their houses, their checkbooks to strangers... who will, after all is said and done, will have a home to return to?

My own Yishuv is just as guilty. We have a boarding school here and it remained empty after the Gush Katif expulsion. Yet three days after the north started getting shelled, 50 people from the north moved in and there have been children's activities during the day and all sorts of other things going on.

So... for those who want to know what they can do to support Israel?

The evacuees from the north are well taken care of.

The refugees from Gush Katif however, still need your help.

Lamentations

In the third chapter of Eicha, or Lamentaions, Yirmiyahu turns his cries from a "how and why are You doing this to the land" to "how and why are You doing this to me?" The first half of the chapter, he despairs that God has turned from him. Not only that, but God has turned His back on Yirmiyahu, He doesn't WANT to hear Yirmiyahu's pleas.

And then, in the second half of the chapter, Yirmiyahu does a complete about-face and says that only his belief in Hashem can lift him from the severe depression. Regardless of whether Hashem wants to hear it, Yirmiyahu will continue to pray, and continue to believe.

I've been living in Israel now for 9 years. In that time, I divorced my husband of 9 years. I was a single mother for 5 years. During that time I lost my job and for the past 6 years have been trying to deal with the fact that I am surrounded by people who would sooner shoot me than learn to live as my neighbor.

With all that going on in my life, there were plenty of times when I was at the bottom. I despaired of ever being able to have ONE month where I could pay all my bills, buy groceries and give the girls their allowance. I wasn't even praying to have something to carry on into the next month. There were times when I was thisclose to selling everything I owned, give up the joint custody of my daughters and move back to the US. I would be in tears, crying into my pillow, praying to God to help me.

And every time I got to that point, something happened. A freelance job would give my bank account a boost. The tzedakah organization on the Yishuv would drop two cases of assorted groceries on my doorstep. I met my second husband. And the important thing is... I recognized from whence it came.

There's really nothing I can do about the political situation though. The Intifada that started up again and now the war again in Lebanon.

There are those who have said that the first and second Intifada was brought by God when the people of Israel would start turning on one another. He would bring around a common enemy and the Jews would join together. Unfortunately for us, the Achdut (solidarity) never lasts long.

As for the war... there's another issue at stake. It's a need to return, or maybe turn, to God. Anyone who reads the TaNaCH (5 Books of Moses, the Prophets and the 'Writings') and believes in it can clearly learn that there is a direct correlation between the Land of Israel, the People of Israel and the Word of God. One follows the Word of God, one cares for the Land of Israel and God will take care of the People. Don't follow the Word of God, or don't care for the Land of Israel and God will punish the people.

So God has brought this war as a lesson to His people. And what is that lesson? Well. It's different for everyone. And it's up to each person to discover what it is. And it happens in baby steps.

We have a number of Chiloni (secular) friends living in Tel Aviv. Two of them have been living inIsrael all their lives and have never gone over the Green Line. In the last month, one has come to our house twice and another once. Another Chiloni person whose blog I read (and he reads mine) read in my blog last week that a Tehillim rally was scheduled in Jerusalem. He got himself a Tehillim and went. And has been saying Tehillim every day ever since.

I'm not a religious nut, I don't consider myself particularly learned. I don't spend my days reading about Bible codes and The Matrix in every TV show I watch. I wasn't even particularly spiritual when I first made Aliyah.

But I can't live where I live and not see the miracles. I can't see what I've seen without seeing the Hand of God in it all.

Keeping Busy

Our Yishuv has an Ulpana (girl's high school, traditionally a boarding school) which of course is closed for the summer. Last week families from the north came and moved in.

D1 and D2 are helping with planned activities for the kids that have arrived. Which I'm glad. It gets them out of the house for a while.

Our e-tickets have just been emailed to me, so we're all set for our NY trip on Sukkot. We're really looking forward to it and I think by then, we'll really need it. This will be the first time back for the girls in 2 years and they'll get to meet their only female cousin for the first time.

You know you're in Israel when...

You return to your Yishuv (settlement) at 11:30 at night and the guard on duty is the community's Rav with an M16.

Other Pursuits

Just so you don't think my entire life centers around my hatred for those who wish to destroy me and my family and my homeland, a brief interlude.

My husband and I are the cofounders of the Israeli group that participates in the Society for Creative Anachronism. Our Shire is Maale Giborim and we will be celebrating our third anniversary in November (Thanksgiving actually). We are part of the Kingdom of Drachenwald which if you don't want to head over to their site, encompasses Europe, the Middle East and South Africa. Our group here in Israel has a regular, active core group of about 15 people, and our biggest event had 30 people. It was our second birthday event, which was held in a Crusader-era hall in the Muslim Quarter of the Old City in Jerusalem.

I think our motto should be "Our event location kicks your event location's ass!"

Ok, maybe not.

We have semi-regular activities, which include fencing and crafts night. We hope to add archery soonish.

Lest you think that Orthodox Jews participating in something like this could only happen in Israel, think again. The Seneschal (I suppose head would define that) of the newly revived Shire in Brooklyn is an Orthodox Jew. Nice guy. We've met him and went to a Sunday event he and his Shire put together in May. The guy in charge of archery (called a Yeoman) for the Barony of Carolingia (a HUGE group in Boston) is a very nice 18 year old frum guy.

I know, because I met him 2 years ago. And his parents. At war. No, really. Pennsic War. Near Pittsburgh. My husband and I were honeymooning there. With my kids. And 12,000 other people. For 10 days.

We camped with a group that was mostly from the DC area. Most of the folks were either unaffiliated religiously. A few were pagans. And then us Jews. Seven of us from Israel and a family of three from DC. We had an Eruv around the camp, we explained to them about food, we asked for their assistance to make sure the port-o-potties had tissues in them over Shabbat after they were cleaned. It was really nice. And last year a large group of Jews camped together. Called themselves 'Clan MacIvri'. We hope to go again next year.

This year, we will actually have a representative at Pennsic who will participate in part of the actual battle. One of our memebers is learning in NY and recently qualified for fighting so she will wear our colors. So Vivat and best of luck to "Zenigata Toshiko"!

How do you cope?

Thank God, so far, the war hasn't touched me. I don't have any relatives in the IDF, and as far as I know, none of my friends have had to report for duty. Some of my neighbors have been called up, but for the most part, they're older men, in reserve and they're filling in for the younger soldiers who have been moved to the front.

I'd like it to stay that way, thank you very much.

Last week, I signed up with a couple placement agencies, offering to allow evacuees live with us. Earlier today I received a phonecall from one of the organizations and they said they'll be back in touch.

According to the Jerusalem Post, estimates have this war going on for another 10 days or so, because that's when Hizballah runs out of munitions. So far, they've only been lobbing the shorter range Kaytushas. From the maps that I've seen, we seem to be on the far limit of what their long range missiles can get to. Yes, we're about due east of Tel Aviv. But we're a much more insignificant target. I WOULD say that also being surrounded by Arab villages offers some protection, but I've read about some of the misfires from Lebanon.

And that gets us to my point. How do I cope? I just don't read the news all that often. I head over to the Jerusalem Post and Arutz7 once, maybe twice a day. I figure if something major was happening, someone would let me know.

I've been living in Israel now for 9 years. For at least 6 of those, I've been surrounded by the escalated violence of the second Intifada. I missed Gulf War Part I, but I've been here for the sequel. Both my children and I have gas masks and yes, we know where they are (although they're going to have to be renewed soon). So Lebanon Part Deux is not a new experience for me. That's not to say it doesn't terrify me.


We call my MIL basically every day, or she calls us (isn't VoIP great?). She of course wants us to move back. And she lets us know it. That's not to say my parents don't want us safe... it's just that they've had 6 years longer to deal with the fact that their child has chosen to live in Eretz Yisrael and right now it happens to be a bit more... well... tense.


I spoke to my MIL yesterday via IM. She jokingly said that she's going to send a professional team here to kidnap us back to the US.


At least I think she was joking.

Children

First posted: August 21, 2000

I wonder what my kids will think when I get a gun.

Their father already has one and he's always had BB handguns and rifles.

I live in a country were a handgun is common for a male civilian or 'regular' law enforcement officer, and automatic weapons are a usual accessory for the soldiers and Border Guards.

I've noticed though, that civilian women don't carry guns. Or maybe they only carry them in their backpacks/pocketbooks.

I may go the shoulder-holster route. I don't always wear something with a waistband (dress or jumber) and some of my skirts are elastic waistbands.

You can't imagine how gratefull I am that the kids I have thus far are girls. It must be horrible for a parent to look at their son and know that when he turns 18, he has to join the army. Girls have an easier time of getting out of manditory service. Of course, I'm sure my ex's parents would just love for them to get married the day after high school graduation...

I don't kow what road my girls will take and it's something that we'll have to discuss when the time comes...

Horde of Horrible Homos!

So... last year, World Pride in Jerusalem was postponed to this year due to the fact that the police were busy directing the Army in emptying Gaza of Jews.

I wonder if this latest escalation will postpone it again and World Pride organizers will just make that a Jerusalem on hold indefinitely and go elsewhere next year. What with all the outcry about the parade and other events happening in Jerusalem.

I also wonder how long it's going to take the ultra-Orthodox to blame the war in Lebanon Part Deux on the fact that people are ready to blaspheme the holy city of Jerusalem with a horde of horrible homos.

Oooh... I like that alliteration.... and the picture in my mind... Lotsa leather... flash of cleavage...

Uh... so yeah.

Enough Is Enough

I'm suddenly feeling very out of sorts right now.

The news is not good... We're thisclose to war with Lebanon again. And Gaza is just a powderkeg waiting for a match.

On the one hand, I want the IDF to go into Gaza and just level the damn place like they should have done as soon as they kicked all the Jews out. And go into Lebanon and do... SOMETHING.

On the other hand...

No. There is no other hand. The problem has to be taken care of once and for all and there is only one solution. The reports of a female suicide boming brigades, multiple kidnapings, the ceaseless rain of Kassams...

ENOUGH WITH THE SITTING AROUND WITH OUR THUMBS UP OUR ASS.

DO SOMETHING ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!