In addition to the settler hat and the SCA hat I wear, I also unfortunately wear the hat of the infertile woman.
Some days I deal with it better than others. Some days I can barely cope.
My official diagnosis is PCOS - polycystic ovary syndrome. Because it's a syndrome, it tends to be a series of symptoms which lead to problems of some sort of the ovaries. Each woman is different. Severity differs as well. For me it means that without the help of Metformin(glucophage) I don't get my period. And without the help of hormone therapy, I don't ovulate. Sometimes, if the hormone dosage is too low, I end up with a cyst in my follicle, rather than an egg. So far, thank God, I haven't actually had any burst. The cysts are painful enough. A rupture could mean a trip to the ER.
I have been going for treatments now for 13 months, with a 3 month break from April to July. I've just had my third IUI, and although I'm one week into the 2WW (2 week wait), I think it might have been another failure. The clinic said that the insurance generally requires 4 or 5 IUIs before moving on to IVF.
It's amazing how consuming having a baby can become when it doesn't come naturally. On average, I spend up to 2.5 weeks of every cycle schlepping into Jerusalem twice a week for blood tests and ultrasounds. Every day is at least one injection (I self-inject into my stomach) and by the end of the 2.5 weeks, I'm black and blue. There's the scheduled sex. And now that we're doing IUI, there's the 'collection', which has to be done within the guidlines of Halacha. And the 2WW.
I honestly don't see how couples can do this for years on end... each month gets more and more discouraging...